


Holiday.

by Now_GuessWhoIAm



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen, POV Helmut Zemo, The gore starts at chapter 2, This is a story about the day when Helmut Zemo lost everything he had ever loved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2018-10-10 22:58:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10449480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Now_GuessWhoIAm/pseuds/Now_GuessWhoIAm
Summary: It was a holiday.We decided to stay at my father’s place, for it had been so long since the last time we met.





	1. Since then, it was just me.

03:47 23.6.2016

It was a holiday.

We decided to stay at my father’s place, for it had been so long since the last time we met. My wife was glad about the decision, saying that there would be more space for our boy to play and the air was probably better. My little angel was excited, after I had agreed that we could play hide and seek there.

The plan was to buy all the things that we might need the day before, and to go to my father’s place after breakfast that day. My father would pick us up, along with all the stuff we had prepared for the holiday.

Oh well, silly me.

It was when we were about to leave, my wife found out that I had mistaken tomato soup for spaghetti sauce. This cracked her up, and she said that she would not let this go, not after a few more good laugh. My father wondered why such thing would happen, I responded with a smile on my face.

“I was… Distracted.”

“Oh really?” My father snorted, obviously not believing in my words.

“When I was buying the groceries, I heard someone calling my name. I turned my head, and I saw her. She was beautiful, even more beautiful than the mountains of Sokov--”

“Helmut, stop it...” My wife interrupted me, blushing uncontrollably.

I felt that my shirt was being pulled.

“Who was she, daddy?”

I picked my son up, and landed a kiss on his forehead.

“She was the reason why I wanted to be a better man. And now, she is one of the reasons I live for. My sunshine...” I nuzzled against my son's neck, making him chuckle. “One day, my dear, you will find your reason, just like I did.”

“Don’t listen to your dad, sweetie.” After kissing my son’s cheek, my wife gave me a firm tap on the back of my head. “Your dad has no idea what he’s talking about.”

“Ouch, it hurts...”  
“Of course it does.”

“Well...” My father rolled his eyes at us, “Anyone want to help the old man put all these things into the car?”

“I do!” My son cheered, raising both his hands.

I put my son down, letting him help my father out.

“Now…” My wife was still pursing her lips, as she handed me the bag filled with cans. “Would you kindly fix this little mistake of yours?”

“Consider the job done, ma'am.” After I had received the bag, I saluted to my wife playfully. A smile was put on her face, as I intended.

“It better be, or else you will have to eat tomato-soup-soaked spaghetti.”  
“Sounds delicious.”  
“No it does not!”

I asked them to leave first, and told them that I would drive myself there after exchanging the items.

It was quite simple. I went to the store. I told them that I had gotten the wrong cans, and fifteen minutes later I walked back home with a bag filled with cans of spaghetti sauce. The exchange did not even cost me half an hour.

After starting the car, I called my wife, telling her that I was coming.

“The deed is done, ma’am.”  
“Very good, colonel.”

Her laughter was as wonderful as they always had been.

“How’s the ride?”  
“It’s been quite good so far.”  
“Did our boy fall asleep?”  
“Nope, and he’s been planning all kinds of fun stuff to play with later on.”  
“Sounds like this young man's on his way to becoming a great tactician.”  
“Thanks, he got his smart from his father’s side--”

Her laughter was cut off by a loud noise.

“Mommy, grandpa! Look!” My son exclaimed, his voice filled with glee and excitement.

“Sunshine, please hand the phone to our dear boy.”  
“Sure... Come, sweetie, talk to daddy.”

There was the same noise again, just not as loud. It started to echo... As if the noise was not only coming from the phone, as if it was also coming from somewhere else.

“Daddy, you should’ve seen that! Iron man was here! I could see him from the car window!”  
“Oww, you’re so lucky, dear.”

The noise was getting louder.

“Other than playing hide and seek, daddy, can we also play catch?”  
“We’ll play any game you want, my little ang--”

The noise had grown so loud, that it cut off my sentence. Seconds later, it started to be softer and softer, until I could no longer hear it.

That must be Iron Man, in a hurry to… Save?

Or to…

It had become harder for us civilians to tell what they were up to, especially after what happened in Johannesburg.

The direction he was heading… It was Novi Grad.

Why?

“Um...”  
“Daddy?”

It was almost certain that Iron man would not be alone.

“Nothing, my dear. Just… Listen to mommy and grandpa while I’m not around, okay?”  
“Okay, daddy!”

If he was heading that way, the rest of the Avengers might also be.

But… The HYDRA base had already been destroyed by them…

“Promise?”  
“Promise!”

Why did they come back?

“Now, my dear, would you kindly hand the phone back to mommy?”  
“Okay!”

What was going on?

“So…” My wife giggled, “I heard that you asked our boy to make a promise.”

I remained silent, as my mind was flooded with all sorts of possibilities that I could think of.

“Honey? Are you listening?”

All of a sudden, I was confused no more. My head was cleared up, for I had found my answer. There was a moment when my mind was blank, because the conclusion took me by surprise.

“Helmut, are you still there?”My wife started to worry, “Is there something wrong?”

After that, fear was all that I felt.

“Helmut!”  
“Yes! I’m here.”  
“I suppose you’re too busy trying to figure out why the Iron Man’s here?”  
“You know me well… I’m… Sorry...”  
“It’s fine. So? Have you figured that out?”  
“The Avengers… Might be having a fight here.”

I could hear her sigh.

“But… Don't worry, sunshine.”  
“How is that not worrying?”  
“Well… They’ll be fighting in the city, right?”  
“Might be, who knows...”  
“And here we are, miles away from harm.”  
“Will it be enough?”

“I--”Pausing the sentence, I bit my bottom lip.

Would it be far enough?

Would it be safe enough?

Would it be good enough?

I continued, “I believe it’s enough.”

“I hope you are right...” She murmured.

“So… How’s the ride?”  
“We’re almost there.”  
“See you then, sunshine?”  
“Alright, honey. See you.”

Since then, it was just me.

Alone, driving in almost complete silence, occasionally humming a tune.

At first, I did not mind. A few moments later, I did.

My car was shaking. Slightly, yet noticeable.

Was it the road?

I sped up, for I wished to get off the road and to see my family sooner.

The quake did not end, and it was stronger than before.

Was it the speed?

As time passed by, the quake was getting more and more powerful.

Was it the car?

The quake had gotten to the point where one could describe it as aggressive and violent.

Was it... The Earth?

Just when I was thinking about the possibility of being a dead man soon, the situation worsened. As though it was not enough to put me in danger, the sky had too turned black. It was so dim, that it almost seemed as if I was underneath a great shadow.

With the quake and the darkness, it was even more difficult for me to keep the vehicle on track. While I was trying my best to stay alive, I heard a huge bang from behind.

Sounded an awful lot like a heavy object hitting the ground.

I heard the bang again and again, and it was getting louder each time I heard it.

I glanced at the rear-view mirror.

My heart skipped a beat.

Rocks were falling from the sky.

They were getting closer.

And closer...

And closer…

And closer...

As if time had been slowed down, I could see everything in my car floating in mid-air.

The cans of spaghetti sauce twitching and turning inside the bag, clinking together like a wind chime. The little doll my son made for me breaking loose from the string, flying straight towards the windshield. Shattered glass hovering all around me, shining in a way that was similar to diamond dust.

The world was spinning.

The ground was the sky, and the sky was the ground.

I was falling.

Falling…

Falling…

Falling--


	2. Must keep walking…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The air was filled with a familiar taste. A taste so familiar, that it petrified me.
> 
> The smell of iron, sour and bitter.
> 
> How long had I been in a coma?

18:33 6.7.2016

The air was filled with a familiar taste. A taste so familiar, that it petrified me.

The smell of iron, sour and bitter.

How long had I been in a coma?

I slowly opened my eyes.

Everything I saw was inverted, as the car landed on its top.

The colour red was everywhere. Ranging from light red with a hint of orange, to deep red with a pinch of brown. Just when I thought that I had bled too much, I noticed that the bag next to me was leaking.

That was just a pool of spaghetti sauce mixed with my blood.

“Thank God--”

Realizing what I just said, I sighed.

Why did I thank him? He let this happen, didn’t he?

Instead, I should thank the seat belt. It saved me from flying through where the windshield was supposed to be. Not only did it stop me from landing on my face, but it also stopped me from sliding a few feet away while my skin scrubbing the ground.

Well, thank you, seat belt.

I knew I was bleeding, but I had no idea where.

My entire body ached.

I needed to patch myself up immediately.

Preparing for impact, I unbuckled the seat belt. I crashed into the pool of red, luckily none of the shattered glass in the pool got stuck into my flesh. I then pushed the door open, and proceeded to crawl out of the car on my knees.

I laid on my back, breathing heavily.

Despite the fact that every part of me was still in pain, the pain started to become distinguishable.

My legs were injured.

Painful, yet still bearable.

Shards of glass made their way into my thighs. Although I could not feel the bones being broken, it was very likely that they had been cracked. Most of the cuts had stopped bleeding, but blood started oozing from the scabs, possibly because of my previous actions.

Well... I had experienced worse.

I chuckled.

How fortunate...

After tearing my shirt into strips of cloth, I carefully removed the glass.

The blood flow increased instantly.

Knowing that there was no one watching me, knowing that I would not need to act tough in front of anyone…

I groaned out loud in pain, drops of tears fell down my cheeks.

I panted, as I tried to stop the bleeding by binding up the wounds.

It was not the best solution.

My shirt was already soaked with blood, some parts of it were even covered with dirt because of the crawling and the brief rest I took.

However, it was the best I could have.

My fingers trembled a lot, making it difficult for me to dress my injuries. By the time I finished bandaging my wounds and stopped the bleeding, a puddle of red was formed underneath me. A wave of dizziness washed over me, for I had lost too much blood.

I laid down yet again, breathing weakly.

The world was fading away.

My eyelids were getting heavier, and static noise was all I heard…

I needed to rest...

A light nap would do the trick…

No…

Not now...

My family...

I must find them first...

They were all miles away from harm, safe and sound at my father’s place.

If I could find my phone, I could find my family. If I could find my family, they could come find me. If they could come find me, they could help me.

My phone was a few feet away from me, might had been thrown out of the car during the crash.

I slowly got to my feet, as I was trying to grab my phone with my still-trembling hand.

There was a little doll next to the phone. It had been made by my son for me last year, as a Father's Day present. He would be so upset if I lost this well-crafted gift.

Seemed like it had travelled quite a journey, a few cracks here and there.

Thinking of my little angel, thinking of him crying... I just could not leave it here.

I picked it up as well, and put it in my jeans' pocket.

Safe and sound, away from any more harm.

I then checked the phone for any damage, and surprisingly there was none.

Mobile phone manufacturing company at its finest.

No service.

Amazing.

Awesome.

Wonderful.

Telecommunications operator at its finest.

Checking for messages and missed calls, I found out that my wife had left me a voicemail via WhatsApp.

My wife told me in her soft and calming voice, that they had arrived.

My son was tired because he had not slept during the ride. He had been too busy planning what game we should play together upon my arrival. Being able to see Iron Man in person, he was too happy, too excited. Even after arriving the place, he was still jumpy and shivering, cheering about how his idol was exactly how he had always imagined.

His energy had been burnt out by all those excitements.

He fell asleep when he was helping my wife with the groceries, he was still holding a small bag of carrots in his hands.

After carrying my son to bed, my father decided to watch some television while waiting for me. However, he could not watch any programmes that were broadcasted by Sokovia.

That was one of the disadvantages of living outside the city, I supposed.

My wife thought that she could use some nap; as our boy had fallen asleep, she would not have to prepare dinner so soon.

She told me about our dearest son’s adorable sleeping face.

She told me to hurry.

She told me that she loved me.

The voicemail ended.

Even though the air was filled with dust, I could still tell the sun was starting to set and it was almost nighttime. I must go immediately, for my family had been waiting for me…

Yet, my steps were too weak…

I picked up a piece of metal--

I believed it was the bumper, well, at least a part of it.

I used the piece as a cane. Slowly, I began my journey.

Although my steps were still weak, they were steady enough to make progress.

Every step hurt…

They all hurt a lot…

However, they did not matter.

Nothing else mattered.

I would be home soon.

I would be alright soon.

Everything would be alright soon.

All I had to do was to keep walking.

Just keep walking…

The sky started to darken, from light yellow and wine red with a hint of pale blue, to indigo and navy blue with sprinkles of white. Moonlight shone on my path, but it was not bright enough. I wanted to use my phone to light the road, I did not dare to risk my phone’s battery though. Just in case that once the service was back online, my family would be able to find me immediately.

My eyelids were becoming heavy, but I refused to rest.

Must keep walking…

Therefore, I squeezed my wounds.

Despite the fact that I held no strength, making it a rather soft squeeze, it still caused me enough pain in order to help me stay awake.

Every time when I was about to pass out, I did the same.

I had already done it countless times, and the trick was starting to fail.

Just when I thought I could no longer keep it together, I saw a road sign.

I had arrived!

My home!

My everything…

I ignored the pain and started running.

I was home...

I was alright...

Everything was alright...

With my last strength, I rushed toward the road sign--


	3. There was no reply.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I kept screaming their names.
> 
> My wife…
> 
> My son…
> 
> My father…
> 
> There was no reply.
> 
> I kept screaming.
> 
> I hoped desperately that they would yell back.
> 
> There was no reply.

15:47 14.12.2016

It was too hot and bright…

“Sunshine…” I whined, “Why did you open the blinds...”

Wiping my eyes with both my hands, I slowly woke up.

Instead of the soft bed, fluffy pillows and cozy blanket I had always woken up to, the hard ground, rough rocks and cold breeze greeted me morning. My wife was not here making witty remarks about my laziness, my son was also not here launching himself to me from all the way across the room. My father was not here enjoying this little sitcom as well.

They were not here.

No one was here.

Seemed like I was too happy to finally see my home…

Too happy that I used all my strength and collapsed under the road sign.

But it was fine.

I was not far away from home.

I was almost there!

I would see them soon!

Everything would be alright soon!

The dust in the air had sunk, everything I saw was covered by a thin layer of white and grey. Shaking my head slightly, I managed to brush off most of the dirt. I then slowly got up, trying hard to stand up straight. My legs were still too weak to stand on its own, forcing me to cling onto the road sign in order to stop myself from falling.

My legs still hurt.

My entire body was still in pain.

But it did not matter.

Nothing else did matter.

I was already here.

I was already standing next to the road sign.

I was only about half a mile away from home.

I only had to take about a thousand and six hundred steps.

That would not be too difficult, would it?

Walking lamely, I started my last journey. Heart beating faster and faster, I was counting my steps in my mind. One, two, three, four… The bigger the number, the happier I was. When it became three-digit, I was so happy that I was skipping.

Well, I was almost skipping.

I would love to do that, but my legs still hurt.

All I did was just walking slightly quicker.

Trying my best to ignore the pain, I was approaching the small town where my father lived with my hastened pace. Normally, I should be able to see the town from this distance. However, I could not see the roofs of the town’s buildings. I could only see the willow tree which grew in the middle of the town.

This was strange…

How was it possible that the buildings disappeared--

Upon the realization, I started running.

I could tell my wounds had just been torn wide open by the sudden movement, but I could care less.

Something must have happened.

Something that could bring the entire town down.

My mind started calculating the possibility of such happening, while my heart started muttering.

Please…

Please, not that...

By the time the calculation was finished, the mutters of fear had turned into screams of agony.

Anything but that!

Yet…

As usual...

My prediction did not fail me.

I almost knelt before the sight, as shock waved through my body.

Roads were cracked, buildings had collapsed.

Ruin was all that was left of the small town.

The pain caused by running was slowly catching up with me. I could no longer run, nor walk normally. I limped towards the rubbles in an awfully slow pace, gently brushing them with my fingers. They were coated with a layer of ash, which indicated that no matter what had caused the damage, it had already been at least a day ago.

Would it be that odd earthquake?

I sighed heavily.

This was not the right time to think of the cause.

I must first find my family.

They must have been hiding somewhere safe.

Or worse, they might be trapped inside the debris.

Either way, I must first find them.

I switched my phone on to see if there was any signal.

Nothing.

Great, that was just wonderful.

I then quickly switched it off in order to save its power for later use.

Since every building in the town had been shattered into heaps of bricks, I had a hard time limping towards my father's house, which was located at the edge of the town. As I was moving forward, I also tried to call for survivors.

However, there was no reply.

My wounds were ripped open from the running, a thin line of red marked the road where I had set foot on. I kept yelling, wondering if anyone was struggling underneath the wreckage.

There was no reply.

With the amount of shattered bricks on the ground, it was difficult for me not to trip over. I shouted again, hoping someone would make a sound.

There was no reply.

I could tell that I had stepped on something soft, but there was something hard hidden beneath the soft layer. Taken by surprise, I tripped. My knees crashed onto the ground, adding pressure on my wounds.

I groaned in great pain.

Gasping, I sought for the item which caused me pain while it was the least wanted.

There was a human arm lying lifelessly on the ground.

I nearly jumped at the moment when I saw it.

I fully acknowledged the fact that I could not bear to look at it any longer.

Yet, I could not tear my eyes away from it.

Blood stained a heap of rocks which was right next to the arm, hinting that the rest of the person was buried below. The rocks had crashed the joint, bones were visible from the incision.

I wanted to vomit.

I did nothing but staying still.

Staring at the broken arm, I ran through the calculation in my mind yet again.

This time, all the thoughts of my family being safe and sound were forcefully deleted.

I urged myself to stand up before my mind ever had the chance to showcase images of my family with serious injuries.

I must find them.

As I forced myself to move, my mind was still trying to showcase all of the possibilities.

Even the worst ones of them all.

I tried my best to ignore my thoughts, dragging myself towards my destination. Eyes watering, I prayed in my heart.

I knew I had been doubtful about his existence, nor did I thank him for my survival…

I wished for the one almighty to hear me just this once.

I wished for me to be incorrect.

I wished for my prediction to fail.

I wished for me to find my family.

I wished for them to be alive and well.

I kept limping towards the one place where my heart desired most. I continued yelling, hoping that someone - anyone - would answer me.

There was no reply.

When I finally reached my destination, I felt as if my heart stopped beating.

Remains, ruins, relics…

Those were all I could think of…

But, the word I should be thinking of was--

“Home…”

I whispered the word, hoping that it could act as a spell, that it could help change my point of view.

It did not do its job.

I shouted my beloved ones’ names.

There was no reply.

M-maybe…

They could not hear me?

After all, the silence was quite loud…

I limped closer, almost standing upon the wreckage--

No!

Home.

My home…

And, I was standing at its doorstep.

I knocked on the pieces of bricks. The knock became an echo, and the echo was then consumed by the silence. Yet again, I spoke of my loved ones’ names. This time, in a way that was more gentle, hoping that perhaps they would answer me if I was not being rude.

There was no reply.

I felt that something inside of me had just withered.

I began digging, removing the ruins piece by piece.

I screamed their names out loud.

My father, my wife, my son.

Again and again.

There was no reply.

I kept screaming their names.

My wife…

My son…

My father…

There was no reply.

I kept screaming.

I hoped desperately that they would yell back.

There was no reply.

My throat was getting sore, yet I still kept screaming.

Tears started streaming down my face.

There was no reply.

I started sobbing as I could no longer scream.

Gasps parted their names into unrecognizable syllables.

I still kept calling.

There was no reply.

Minutes passed by, I no longer had the strength to speak normally.

I still kept muttering.

There was no reply.

Hours passed by, I no longer had the strength to make a sound.

I still kept mouthing their names.

There was no reply.

There was no reply.

There was no reply...


	4. It’s time for all of us to wake up.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I glanced downwards.
> 
> None of the red stained my hands.
> 
> Yet, I could feel it dripping down my fingertips.

12:19 8.9.2017

Hours passed by, all lights were extinguished.

No sun, no moon, no stars…

Nothing was here to shine my way.

In this complete darkness, I kept on doing the only thing which must be done.

To find my family, my loved ones…

My hands were cut by the sharp debris, blood oozing from the wounds. Despite the annoying pain, I kept on moving my home piece by piece. My eyes were burning because of the water I had been losing, and my cheeks were stained and hurt by the once steady stream.

I could no longer voice, nor could I mouth their names.

Between my lips was a slight gap, where my life slowly leaked away.

In this complete darkness, my hands stumbled upon something.

Something familiar.

Something softer than bricks.

Yet, as cold...

I held it gently in my hands. Fingers fondled softly, since it would be easily broken without utter care.

No matter how dim the environment was, I could still tell...

The creases which showed her dedication to our family, the slender fingers which often caressed me with affection, the ring on her finger which had always been a bit loose…

Everything was just as how I had always remembered.

My dear sunshine…

“I am home...” Leaning downward, I murmured, not wanting to wake her from her rest.

Laying down on the rough ground, my fingers intertwined with hers. Before I surrendered myself to sleep, strengthless words had yet again escaped my lips.

“I love you...”

Listening closely to the echo of my broken voice, I closed my eyes.

I waited impatiently for sleep to claim me, yet it did not come.

I supposed it was better this way, as I could have full control over my dream.

I could dream that my wife gently landed a kiss on my forehead, that she woke me up and greeted me with chuckles, that she ensured me everything I had just experienced was only a nightmare.

I could dream of my son’s tiny smile, of his warmth and weight when he jumped onto me and hugged me, of his little kisses on my cheeks when he said “Good morning, daddy”.

I could dream of myself walking down the stairs, of myself greeting my father who was cooking breakfasts for all of us.

I could dream that my father greeted me with a genuine grin instead of his typical sarcastic snort, that he thanked me wholeheartedly for the visit, that he gave me a firm pat on my back.

I could dream of him expressing forgiveness with a faint smile on his face; saying that even though I had not been able to visit my mother during her final moments since I had been out serving our country, he knew my heart had been there with her.

I forcefully opened my eyes, for I could not allow myself to dream of such sickening sweetness.

However, on a cloudy night with no lights at all, I could not ground myself with my sight.

None could be done in order to help with the situation.

All those that were enchanting…

I could still see them in the pitch black.

A heavy feeling rested on my chest, causing my breath to quicken.

Trying hard to calm down, I squeezed my eyes shut, breathing in and out slowly.

Warm fluid fell off my cheeks.

 

Since it did not matter if my eyes were closed or not, I stared at the dark yet again.

What should I do?

I could not decide…

I was not ready yet…

I did not want to face the truth...

Not now...

Not ever…

“All my prayers...”

There were no such things as higher beings.

No one answered my prayers.

Or perhaps they answered me with such?

I gnashed my teeth in anger.

That odd earthquake…

Sokovia was never a place familiar with acute earthquake, it must have been something or--

Someone.

A certain group of people, to be exact.

“Those Avengers…”

All there were but men.

“Their holy wars...”

Men who should be sentenced to death.

No, no.

Death sentence was an act of mercy.

Their suffering shall be eternal.

“They soon will lose everything, just like me--”

Words caught in my throat.

There was but a man.

There was but me.

The one who should be sentenced to death.

“Why not take me instead?”

My voice shook.

It was torn, almost unrecognizable.

As well as everything I had ever had…

I should be dead.

I should be the only one who died.

And yet...

“Why not take me along?”

Leaving only the son, the husband, the father alive.

To be toyed with.

To suffer the cost of others’ failure.

“Such a sadistic universe.” I chuckled, tone overflowed with bitter and hatred.

The sun was rising at a slow pace, soft lights peeking through the crowded clouds. My eyes adjusted to the shine, starting to see more and more colours. However, I shut my eyes tight once again, in hopes of savoring the moments when I could still ignore the facts and hold onto my wishes. I squeezed my wife’s hand, feeling warmth same as mine from her palm.

I grinned sincerely, just like how I had always been whenever I saw her.

“Good morning, sunshine.”

Letting go of her, I slowly sat up, and opened my eyes.

Most of her was still underneath the bricks. Her arm was the only part visible, the blood had dried on her pale skin.

I glanced downwards.

None of the red stained my hands.

Yet, I could feel it dripping down my fingertips.

“It’s time for all of us to wake up.” Clenching my fists, I murmured to myself.

Piece by piece, I removed the fragments away from my wife. A rather large piece of ceiling sank into her chest, crushing her rib cage, lungs and heart.

Presumably, it was the cause of her death.

Her head tilted to the side, hiding her expressions. I turned her face towards me, for I wanted to see her.

I immediately regretted my decision.

Her beauty was completely scratched.

Not only by wounds, but also by horror.

Her eyes were wide open, fixed and fused with dread.

I moved my hand to close her eyes.

“Requiescat in pace, meus sola lux…”

I then noticed that there was a hand resting on her shoulder. I proceeded to clean up the surrounding area.

The hand belonged to my father.

“Morning, papa.”

A boulder sat on top of his head, flattening his skull. His smashed brains spilled out from the crack, his face blurred by the mixture of milky white and brownish red.

“Let me help you.”

I lifted the edge of his shirt, and used it to towel his face dry.

“There, isn’t it much better?”

There was something hidden underneath his coat. It was pinned down by stones, the cloth above outlining its shape. After removing the weight on the top, it could be seen that the coat was soaked with blood. I carefully ripped off the clothing, for it had been glued tightly onto the object underneath.

I swear, I could hear him sobbing.

“My dear boy...”

Transparent droplets hitting the ground with brute force, flowers of darker shade blossomed to life.

“What have they done...”

I thought I had already cried my tears dry.

“How could they...”

Apparently, I thought wrong.

The boulder dented his back, presumably broke his spine in the process. His face unseen, due to the fact that he buried it in his thighs.

Oh lord, he was crying…

He was screaming, begging for help...

The plea was loud and clear in my ears, echoing and multiplying in my clouded mind.

I did not have the stomach to help him sit up right and see his face.

I could never live with this…

Should I…

I glanced at the debris surrounding us. With those, a few cuts might do the job. I grabbed one sharp piece, holding it tight and feeling its weight. I grinned at the way it cut through my skin so effortlessly…

Yes, this one would do.

Soon, I could reunite with my family, with everything that I loved and cared the most.

I could do it.

Fuming, I gritted my teeth. The grip on the sharp rock tightened, blood dripping down my skin.

Yet, I must not.

Not now, not so soon.

Not when the price was not paid.

Those Avengers…

I would show them how a proper vengence was done.

After that, I could finally leave this pathetic world, and return to my beloved ones’ warm embrace.

Until then…

I must endure another meaningless day.


	5. It was truly an unforgettable holiday.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I miss you.”
> 
> I let her go.
> 
> “I know we’ll meet soon.”
> 
> I smiled at thin air.
> 
> “It won’t take long.”

04:51 11.3.2018

I thought there would be helicopters searching for survivors, yet apparently that was not the case.

I sat there alone for a very long while. Alone enough that I could hear my own breathing and heartbeat, long enough that I could hear my family’s voices. I stared at my family without actually seeing, as my mind still refused to function normally. I knew I should be doing something, but I did not want to move a muscle.

Moving seemed extremely tiring and useless at this point.

I tried my best to help my family look presentable. Yet no matter how I helped, they would never be as beautiful as they had used to be.

They would always remain messy and broken.

I let out a breathless sigh.

I knew what I must do, but I did not want to.

I had never thought of the day when we went our separate ways would come so soon.

And most certainly, not in ways like such.

I did not want to say farewell to them…

My family once was the most beautiful thing I had ever experienced and been a part of in my whole life, now it was nothing but a mentally scarring image which branded me with pain for the rest of my life.

This could not be my family.

I wanted to refuse this reality.

I could not, because I understood the fact that I had never been a god.

What about those who thought that they were and acted upon their idiotic beliefs?

I chuckled.

“Oh dear.” I laughed at what I had just formatted in mind. “I’ve made a plan which you’d call impractical and impossible.”

Grinning, I eyed my wife. The howling wind carried her warnings from the far beyond.

“It will work.” I smiled. “I will make it work.”

The wind grew louder.

“I know you’d stop me from doing something this idiotic… And possibly wrong...” I lowered my head to avoid eye contact. “But... You’re not here to stop me anymore now, are you?”

The wind went quiet.

“There must be no more Avengers.” I growled.

Those false gods.

The world must see them as who they really were.

The world must always remember what they had cursed us.

The world must be rid of these demons who were clothed with halos.

These sinners shall suffer from condemnation and distrust.

Such would be their eternal punishment.

But, before all of those, I must do one thing.

My eyes lingering around, eventually they were fixed on my family.

I must give them a proper funeral.

“I should’ve done better...” Holding onto my wife’s hand, I apologised softly.

The wind brushed my cheeks soothingly.

“You all deserve so much better...” I lifted the hand to my face, my lips touching the pale skin lightly.

The wind hummed, giving me a calming embrace.

“I love you, I always do...” I murmured, sharing my warmth with the cold hand through the touch of my cheek. “What I’ve ever done, and what I’ll do, they are all for love.”

I closed my eyes, the wind brushing through my hair the way my wife had always done.

“I miss you.”

I let her go.

“I know we’ll meet soon.”

I smiled at thin air.

“It won’t take long.”

A funeral would be the only decent thing I could do for my family. They should not be left out here, alone and rotting for the world to see. They would not be left for the government to collected and cremated, as if they were mere meaningless inconvenience. They would not be carved names on a marble monument, only for their existence to be eaten away by the sun, rain, and wind. They should not be forgotten by history, nor by the world.

My family was supposed to be special.

And yet, they were reduced to nothing by people who cared not for the others.

“Those incompetent ‘heros’…”

Gritting my teeth in the raging storm within my mind, I began lifting the remaining stones away from my family’s bodies. I originally thought of cremation, as to spare them from the disgrace I would soon bear. I did not want them to be involved, to be spat upon their graves. However, I could not find a lighter anywhere, nor accelerator to speed up the process. As for that, burial became my only choice.

I searched for a suitable location for my family -- a place free from the damage of the sun, rain, and wind. For that, burying them right here where they had been murdered was completely out of the question. For everything had collapsed, nothing was here to shelter them. Walking a few steps forward, I stared into the distance, trying to find a single spot which had yet been ruined by those unforgivable imbeciles’ wrongdoing. All that I could see was the wreckage and the willow tree standing tall at the centre of the town. Thanked for it being possibly (and now certainly) the oldest thing in this town, it had grown strong enough to be unharmed by the chaos happening around it. Pondering, I studied the tree. Its canopy was thick and wide, more than enough to shelter my family. It seemed to be the perfect location for them to rest forever.

It was a piece of cake to get those pieces of trash off my family’s bodies, despite the countless times when I had to stop because I could not help but stare at those gaping wounds.

But, to carry them to the willow?

Much more difficult due to my injuries.

Scavenging among the ruins, I found a shovel for the burial, and a handful of materials (some scrap metal and wood, along with rope more than enough; how fortunate that this was an old town) to build a makeshift sledge for easier transportation. The sun burnt bright and cooked my skin, as I was dragging my family with the sledge over the gravels littered all over the ground. My actions were slow and careful, as not to let them roll off the unsteady structure, and to spare myself from the agonising pain gifted by every step I took on my own. I started to wonder: What about the others? Those who had no one else but themselves, thus were forgotten? Those who all their loved ones were gone, thus were left alone? Could I possibly do something to help them?

I glanced around, countless bodies scattering all over the place.

No, I could not.

My injuries and the weight I was carrying had both taken their toll on me, I could not have possibly helped all these people.

I could not do anything for them, other than watching their bodies slowly decaying.

I apologised silently to the dead.

Sighing softly, I continued my mission. The road towards the middle of town seemed to have grown much longer due to the deadweight. My shadow grew bit by bit with every step I took to shorten the distance. By the time I reached the willow tree, the shadow had grown from a spot being towed by my feet to a stubby silhouette easily catching up to my pace. Looking up, I admired the strength of the undefeated.

How its stem was slightly damaged yet not brought down by the man-made disaster…

I placed my palm on the stem to feel the wounds.

I could only wish to possess a strength alike.

With the shovel, I dug three holes for each of my family members. I believed I should have only dug one hole big enough for the three of them, given the worsening situation of my wounds. Yet, it felt too much like a mass grave, which would be the complete opposite of my intention. Even though my father would probably not complain about the narrow space which he had to share with his beloved daughter-in-law and grandson, I still wanted to avoid his nagging no matter the cost. As I had finished digging, I carefully got them off the sledge, slowly lowering them into the makeshift graves. With the weight on my shoulder, I could feel that my legs were sinking into the loose dirt.

I grunted as I let my family rest in their respective bed.

No matter how many times I apologised, it would never be enough, nor I would be forgiven. 

I knelt in front of my family, hands touching them for the last time.

“You’ve always said that your ring’s too loose...” I whispered as I slid the wedding ring off my wife’s hand. “I’ll take it to a shop and have it fixed for you. I’ll bring the ring back, I promise.” I kept it safe in my pocket.

“You can have this, my boy. It’d be like I’ve never gone away.” I held the little doll he made for me in my hand. He had made it in my image, with the clothing of his favourite Avenger. Placing it in his palms, I muttered with a faint smile on my face. “You said I’m your Avenger, and I promise I will seek revenge for us.”

“Sorry, papa, I’ve always been late.” I spoke lightly to my father. The wind blew at the willow, the leaves chiming much like a wind bell. I could almost hear him snorting in the wind. “I won’t be late anymore, I promise. When I am done, I will be there on time.”

With a shattered heart, I slowly shovelled dirt onto my family, filling and flattening their graves.

It was truly an unforgettable holiday.

The most I would ever have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry.  
> I have failed you all.  
> Be it the readers, or the character.
> 
> I lost interest, and I had been in a mess that I couldn't control.
> 
> But still, I manage to get this done.  
> I think...?  
> I hope you guys can take it easy on me...
> 
> I will change for the better.  
> More to come.
> 
> \- Guess.


End file.
